Adult Friend Finder - Not For The Feint At Heart

Of course, another trend that's been finding popularity in recent years, especially among the college-age crowd, is the 'hook-up'. For those who may have been living under a rock for the past few years and simply aren't familiar with the term, a 'hook-up' is when two people get together for an evening of pure pleasure, without attachments or strong emotional expectations. In short, friends for sex, and nothing more.

It was only a matter of time before some enterprising people put the two together, and provided an adult dating service for those of various tastes. Looking for someone who's truly fun and interesting, but also just a little kinky? Or perhaps you're looking for someone who just 'clicks' with you mentally and physically, but who just wants a special 'hook-up' for the night?


Adult Friend Finder 'Hook Up'

The company Various, Inc. provides two dating/lifestyle websites for the sexually adventurous among us. One is Adult Friend Finder, an adult web site catering to those who are looking for anything from classic ‘hook-up’ opportunities to a serious relationship as passionate and kinky as it is loving; the other is Alt.com, a website which caters to individuals in the Domination/submission lifestyle. (In truth the company has a host of other websites as well, but we concentrate on these two for this article.)

Both sites allow an interested individual free basic participation on the site; there is normally no censorship of the pictures or on what may be discussed in the ads. To contact others with a full email and/or pics, or to fully view others’ ads normally requires a paid membership. An Adult Friend Finder 'Silver Membership' allows the buyer to "enjoy unlimited photo views and email"; an 'Gold Membership' allows all this plus the ability to "perform pinpoint searches and be seen first by other members."

The sites not only possess ads from all members, but discussion groups and blogs as well. Once you join, your opening page gives your handle on the site (it’s decidedly not a good idea to give out your real name for all to see), and informs you of all basic activity regarding your ad--providing the number of those who have written you, etc. You will also find on your main page links to those in your immediate area who fit your profile, and a list of all those who have viewed your ad in the last 30 days.


Restrictions on Adult Friend Finder Free Membership

The restrictions on a free membership mostly affect your viewing the ads of other members. A free membership allows little more than the ability to view ad headings and tiny versions of an advertiser’s picture, when provided. It would probably help sales a bit if the pictures shown were a bit bigger, to give those considering a full membership a greater idea of who they’ll be able to contact were they to purchase a paid membership. A ‘free’ member can send a “wink” to those who catch their fancy (a ‘wink’ on these sites simply lets the advertiser know that you are interested in them), and put certain ads on a “hotlist”, which creates a quick reference page of those ads which you may consider especially interesting.

Maneuvering about the sites is easy, with a bar scrolling the top and bottom of every page displayed prominently, allowing you access to primary features. Gold and Silver members may write you, and even free members are allowed to respond to emails without restrictions. To initiate an email exchange with anyone who catches your fancy takes a paid membership, however.

Now on to what makes each one unique. Adult Friend Finder will undoubtedly have the broader appeal, since it allows any legal personal advertisement and discussion one can reasonably think of, and a community base for most any kink or interest. Want a one night ‘hook-up’? This should be the place. Looking for something just a bit off the beaten path--a fetish, a special interest or fantasy you’ve always wanted to experience with someone? You can probably find it here. Even if you’re looking for a more straightforward, ‘regular’ relationship, you might find it here--although this is a sexually-oriented site, so naturally the emphasis is on sexual interests. It can be a little too raunchy if sex is not one of your prime interests with someone.


Alt.com vs. AdultFriendFinder.com

Alt.com is not as varied, which is both its glory and its curse. If you’re looking for those who are a bit more serious--or at least more interested--in the Domination/submission thing, it’s the better focused site; but if you’re someone who is just looking for a slight, occasional twist of domination or submission once every blue moon, Adult Friend Finder would be the smarter choice, and would help you meet others with wider interests.

So how many members seem genuinely serious? Who seems to be trustworthy if some meeting were to take place, and who should perhaps not be trusted? And who, if anyone, seems more interested in this or that sexual kink for its own sake, rather than in more adult forms of sexual exchange with a mere touch of something different?

As best as an ‘outsider’ might discover, how well do these sites really work in connecting people with similar sexual tastes? Some time ago this reporter worked to find that out as best he could.

I purposely created a fake ad for both sites, and even bought an inexpensive, limited-time ‘Silver Membership’ from one in the hope of seeing what, if anything, I could possibly discover about the interesting devils who belong to these sites. It hardly needs to be said that I indeed never met any of these people, if for no other reason than that it would obviously cloud any research I made. But these measures allowed me a rare journalistic gold mine--unfettered, unvarnished access to these subcultures on a one-to-one basis.

Perusing the sites, I came to discover two things:


Even On Adult Friend Finder, A Few People Aren't Brave Enough To Meet In Person -- But Many Are

1.) This is still the Internet, so several people seem merely interested in utilizing that strange combination of intimacy and secrecy which the Net provides. They are therefore often writing of desires they dream of experiencing, but would never actually do in real life. You need to keep that in mind as you look at the ads. This may be frustrating if one is truly serious, but it’s as natural as liars in a local bar.

2.) Many times those that seem insanely wild, or are obviously fixated on a single topic rather than on a better-rounded sexual life, appear to be the least genuine.

These are the tentative conclusions of one who, again, never met anyone from the sites or ever genuinely tried to do so; but those with the more mature, better-rounded desires seem to be the only ones which, if pursued, may conceivably turn out to be authentic.